Humor and Essay Reviews   

If I Were a Man, I'd Marry Me
by P.S. Wall
Ballantine Books, 1999
ISBN:  0-345-43032-8


Syndicated columnist P.S. Wall blends Erma Bombeck situations with a heavy touch of Southern humor.  In her collection of adventures with Sweetie and her girlfriends, Wall finds wisdom and life lessons, such as:  "Traffic police are a mystery to me.  As far as I'm concerned it's just not natural for a guy to stop a woman for going too fast."

In a series of essays Wall named "Jockey Strap Love...", Wall says all the things about men that are whispered by girlfriends over the fence or at the beauty parlor.  One adventure with Sweetie led to a trip to a topless beach on Martinique.  Sweetie had a one-track mind and nothing was going to stop him as he chanted "totally topless".  After a hair-raising ride in a small plane, they arrive and get to witness the bodies-- moments before the down poar.

The second series of essays named "With Friends Like These, Who Needs Drugs?", deal with the trials all women face from dating to remembering to turn off the BabyCom when daddy feels frisky. 

The final series "The Nut Doesn't Fall Far from the Family Tree" focuses on all the elements that make us Southerners from the annual trip to Graceland to how to spike the fruit cake.  One funny moment is when the linguists from up north dropped by the general store.  The girl friends put on quite a show drawling to the slowest molasses.

If I Were a Man, I'd Marry Me will have you laughing out loud.  No wonder P. S. Wall's column is called "Off the Wall".


Joyce Dixon
Southern Scribe Reviews

2000 Southern Scribe, All Rights Reserved


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